99
Ferengi Regeln 
Vampire
ST CHAT
An Alle Trekkies in dieser
Box: Die Ferengiregeln aus
dem Internet. Da die Regeln
jemand aus den Serien zu-
sammengesammelt hat, sind 
sie leider lckenhaft, und
manchmal doppelt nummeriert.
Zudem sind sie auf Englisch.
Viel Spass !
Last updated Jun 27.

1.Once you have their money,
 you never give it back.
1.If they want their money  
 back, give it to them.     
3.Never spend more for an   
 Acquisition than you have  
 to.                        
4.A woman wearing clothes is
 like a man in the kitchen.
6.Never allow family to 
 stand in the way of 
 opportunity.
7.Keep your ears open.
8.Only a fool passes up a 
 business opportunity.
8.Small print leads to 
 large risk.
9.Opportunity plus instinct 
 equals profit.
10.Greed is eternal.
10.Greed is dead.
12.Anything worth doing is 
 worth doing for money.
13.Anything worth doing is 
 worth doing twice.
16.A deal is a deal 
 (...until a better one 
 comes along).
17.A contract is a contract 
 is a contract--but only 
 between Ferengi.
18.A Ferengi without profit 
 is no Ferengi at all.
19.Satisfaction is not 
 guaranteed.
20.Only give money to people
 you know you can steal 
 from.
21.Never place friendship 
 before profit.
21.Never place profit before
 friendship.
22.A wise man can hear 
 profit in the wind.
22.Latinum tarnishes, but 
 family is forever.
23.Money can never replace 
 dignity.
24.Latinum can't buy happy-
 ness, but you can sure have
 a blast renting it.
25.There's always a way out.
26.As the customers go, so 
 goes the wise profiteer.
27.There's nothing more 
 dangerous than an honest 
 businessman.
31.Never make fun of a 
 Ferengi's mother.
 (...insult something he 
 cares about, instead).
33.It never hurts to suck 
 up to the boss.
34.War is good for business.
35.Peace is good for 
 business.
39.Friendship is temporary; 
 profit is forever.
40.She can touch your lobes,
 but never your Latinum.
41.Profit is its own reward.
42.What's mine is mine, and 
 what's yours is mine too.
44.Never confuse wisdom 
 with luck.
45.Ambition knows no family.
46.Make your shop easy to 
 find.
47.Never trust anyone whose 
 suit is nicer than your 
 own.
48.The bigger the smile, 
 the sharper the knife.
49.Everything is worth 
 something to somebody.
50.Gratitude can bring on 
 generosity.
52.Never ask when you can 
 take.
57.Good customers are as 
 rare as Latinum. Treasure 
 them.
58.There is no substitute 
 for success.
59.Free advice is seldom 
 cheap.
60.Let's you and him fight.
60.Keep your lies consistent
62.The riskier the road, the
 greater the profit.
65.Win or lose, there's 
 always Huyperian beetle 
 snuff.
68.Ear stroking will get you
 anything.
69.Ferengi are not 
 responsible for the 
 stupidity of other races.
72.Never trust your 
 customers.
73.If it gets you profit, 
 sell your own mother.
75.Home is where the heart 
 is, but the stars are made 
 of Latinum.
76.Every once in a while 
 declare peace--It confuses 
 the hell out of your 
 enemies.
77.It's better to swallow 
 your pride than to lose 
 your profit.
79.Beware of the Vulcan 
 greed for knowledge.
82.The flimsier the product,
 the higher the price.
84.A friend is not a friend 
 if he asks for a discount.
85.Never let the competition
 know what you're thinking.
87.A friend in need means 
 three times the profit.
89.Ask not what your profits
 can do for you; ask what 
 you can do for your 
 profits.
94.Females and finances 
 don't mix.
96.For every Rule, there is 
 an equal and opposite Rule.
 (except when there's not)
97.Enough... is never 
 enough.
98.Act without delay! The 
 sharp knife cuts quickly.
99.Trust is the biggest 
 liability of all.
100.If they take your first 
 offer, you either asked 
 too little or offered too
 much.
101.The only value of a 
 collectible is what you 
 can get somebody else to pa
 for it.
102.Nature decays, but 
 Latinum is forever.
103.Sleep can interfere 
 with... [cut off]
104.Faith moves mountains...
 of inventory.
105.Don't trust anyone who 
 trusts you.
106.There is no honor in 
 poverty.
107.A warranty is valid only
 if they can find you.
109.Dignity and an empty 
 sack is worth the sack.
111.Treat people in your 
 debt like family--exploit 
 them.
116.There's always a catch.
119.Never judge a customer 
 by the size of his wallet
 (...sometimes, good things 
 come in small packages).
121.Everything is for sale, 
 including friendship.
123.Even a blind man can 
 recognize the glow of 
 Latinum.
125.Count it.
127.Stay neutral in conflict
 so that you can sell 
 supplies to both sides.
135.Never trust a 
 beneficiary.
139.Wives serve. Brothers 
 inherit.
141.Only fools pay retail.
144.There's nothing wrong 
 with charity...as long as 
 it winds up in your pocket.
146.Necessity, n. The mother
 of invention. Profit is the
 father.
152.A lie is a way to tell 
 the truth to someone who 
 doesn't know.
153.Sell the sizzle, not 
 the steak.
162.Even in the worst of 
 times, someone turns a 
 profit.
169.Competition and fair 
 play are mutually 
 exclusive.
177.Know your enemies... but
 do business with them 
 always.
181.Not even dishonesty can 
 tarnish the shine of 
 profit.
188.A fool and his money is 
 the best customer.
189.Let others keep their 
 reputation. You keep their 
 money.
191.A Ferengi waits to bid 
 until his opponents have 
 exhausted themselves.
192.Never cheat a Klingon...
 unless you're sure you can 
 get away with it.
194.It's always good 
 business to know about new 
 customers before they
 walk in your door.
200.If you're going to have 
 to endure, make yourself 
 comfortable.
202.The justification of 
 profit is profit.
203.New customers are like 
 razor-backed Greeworms--
 They can be succulent, but 
 sometimes they bite back!
211.Employees are the rungs 
 on the ladder of success--
 don't hesitate to step on 
 them.
214.Never begin a business 
 negotiation on an empty 
 stomach.
216.Never gamble with an 
 empath.
217.You can't free a fish 
 from water.
218.Sometimes what you get 
 free costs entirely too 
 much.
219.Always know what you're 
 buying.
219.Possession is 11/10 
 of the law.
223.Beware the man who 
 doesn't make time for 
 oo-mox.
229.Latinum lasts longer 
 than lust.
231.There's a sucker born 
 every minute;be sure you're
 the first to find each one.
236.You can't buy fate.
239.Never be afraid to 
 mislabel a product.
241.Never trust a 
 hardworking employee.
242.More is good... all is 
 better.
255.A wife is a luxury... 
 a smart accountant, a 
 necessity.
260.Life's not fair. How 
 else would you turn a 
 profit?
261.A wealthy man can afford
 anything except a 
 conscience.
262.A verbal contract isn't 
 worth the paper it's 
 written on.
263.Never allow doubt to 
 tarnish your lust for 
 Latinum.
265.The customer is always 
 right (...until you get 
 their cash).
266.When in doubt, lie.
270.In business deals, a 
 disruptor can be almost as 
 important as a calculator.
273.Never trust a 
 hardworking employee.
284.Deep down, everyone's 
 a Ferengi.
285.No good deed ever goes 
 unpunished.
285.A good deed is its own 
 reward.
286.When Morn leaves, it's 
 all over.
?.One person's secret is 
 another person's 
 opportunity.

Bye
(Trekker: schreibt mir!)
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